February 2012
Some things just can’t be left for the free market to decide. The government needs to standardize end times for hotel free breakfast.
If I had to start over, I think I would have liked to write ad copy for SkyMall. At least I’d still be on airplanes.
Most important thing I took away from the superbowl last night was I’m glad I’ve moved my domains from godaddy to #hover.com
Talking to a two year old brings back painful memories of the dating days. One way “I love you’s”.
January 2012
Suddenly, he doesn’t like carseats, strollers or shopping carts. Maybe I should stop reading him “Breakfast at Tiffany’s”. Mr. Golightly.
Friends don’t let friends buy tickets on 545am departures.
It is possible to put the diaper on while they lay on their belly. I just hope the back is as absorbant as the front.
In the event the airline thing doesn’t work out… plan B is to start gobbling LSD and write childrens tv shows.
My hotel had no hot water… felt like Little House on the Prairie.
John Boehner practices for the SOTU address by fighting back smiles while getting tickled.
I am way more dissapointed than the two year old is that we have no batteries for his new train set. He has enough steam to push it around.
An older B47 pilot comes up and tells us about practicing to drop “the bomb” in the 50s. Deflated our egos about the crosswind landing.
How long before Sully accuses the cruise Captain of being an inexperienced regional pilot?
The cruise ship captain is to be charged with “abandoning ship.” Good to know that crime exists. http://ping.fm/7plQH
In Pittsburg for the weekend. Note to self. Dont mention that Tebow guy or anything written in the bible about football.
When its cold, snowy and dark in PWM… the vehicle doors into the baggage room look the entry points into the Rebel Base on Hoth.
Growing up, I thought there was a time when life was in black and white. I wonder if my son will think I grew up in an 8 bit world?
And all this time, I thought this Tebow guy played for New Orleans? I think I associated all the religious references with the Saints.
With a two year old around, I may need to call Kareem Abdul Jabar and borrow his court glasses.
The two year old sqeezed the life out of every single stray pea on his plate like it was a sheet of bubble wrap.
Nothing grinds a TSA line to a halt like an elderly Korean man traveling with an urn of his wife’s ashes.
What drinks are served at a “Rock Your Caucus” party?
2500 miles by car in 10 days with a 2yr old. Mission Accomplished.
December 2011
Can I use “Roomba” as a verb as in “I Roomba’d the floor?” Even though ‘I’ didn’t really do anything?
Halfway through the 2nd shrimp wrap is when I realized the mayo expired in Sept. I used it over sour cream because it expired last week.
Nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes… and it’s just a matter of time before I brush his teeth with Desitin.
When the Stork brings babies, he (or she) should also leave a few Shamwows.
The backhoe driver in the DC airport parkinglot has a WAY more comfortable seat in his cockpit… and he has a Slurpee!
If I kicked Alec Baldwin off my flight and he mocked me on SNL, I’d try and get on this Sat to mock him. Think Lorne would go for it?
He sells his Kindle to upgrade her cell phone plan. She sells her Iphone to buy him an Ebook of O’Henry short stories.
Two tall man curses. Seeing the tops of peoples fridges and over airport bathroom stall doors. Both are messy.
Oh brother. TopGun sequel? I hope it’s about UAV’s and they leave Tom Cruise at home. Now, a Firebirds sequel is one I can get behind!
Always exciting when you find a handful of screws in the cupholder of the plane you are about to fly.
In uniform at train station Dunkin’ Donuts. “You work here?” I answer yep and get a quarter off! Another airline pilot perk!
I’ve got my morning routine down to 15 minutes. Alarm at 345am… Out the door at 4. I should have been a ghostbuster.
Second best reason to have a child. Endless little spoons to stir your Baileys and coffee. First? Access to Hotwheel Cars!
“I’m Congresswoman …, its an emergency, I must get on that plane!” I saw her realize her watch was an hour off. Dca-Lga. Hourly shuttle.
November 2011
Delayed and landing after midnight last night reminds me my body would reject overnight cargo flying.
PanAm was cancelled because the executives thought the pilots were making too much money.
American Airlines files Chapter 11… I’ve seen this movie before.
After a few long days at work, I love coming home and spending the day in a 2yr olds world… an excuse to stay inside and play with blocks!
Watching “Cars” with a 2yr old is like watching “Up in Smoke” in college. I’ve seen the first 20 minutes a dozen times.
“I saw, I heard, I smelled.” My war cry after a victorious battle with rats. Now, what covers the stench of death?
When a little boy is eating raisins while you change his diaper… be mindful of what he puts in his mouth.
A passenger asked if that “was a normal approach because that was terrifying!” I had something funny to say but I just smiled and nodded.
“I myself dabbled in pacifism once, not in Call of Duty of course”
The further into the Steve Jobs biography I get the further down the list of future adoptee role models he moves. And up moves Clark Kent.
Back in the day… What was the number you’d call to get the time and temperature? Something 1212. I miss that lady.
After decades of wondering, I think I have finally found Airwolf’s hangar.
I woke up and googled “what f’in time is it?”, “what f’in day is it?” And through in “where the f am I?”